Quickies: The Autopsy of Jane Doe & Sadako vs Kayako

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The Autopsy of Jane Doe is a pretty solid horror flick for about two-thirds of the run-time. It stars Emile Hirsch and Brian Cox as father-and-son coroners who experience supernatural phenomena while examining the body of an unidentified woman (played by Olwen Kelly). It cleverly plays on our voyeuristic tendency by bringing us into an autopsy room to observe the process of an autopsy. I love the natural chemistry between the father and son, and how each incision of a knife brings out a new layer of monstrosity. It is slyly fashioned almost as a detective procedural. But the last act just didn’t quite hit the spot for me because after investing so much time and effort to build up the suspense, the movie dissolves into an overload of horror clichés without the logic. I am of the opinion that for movies like this to work, there must be rules for our protagonists to work through, like what does the supernatural entity want or if you can escape the lair you will survive. It doesn’t matter if the entity cheats them and they still die, but they must be given an element of hope of survival. Why would anyone want to watch something in which everyone perishes? In this case of this movie the rules aren’t defined with clarity and the final act just throws all the deathly goodwill away. However the first two acts are so good that I can forgive it, a little. Superb atmosphere and Brian Cox has the gravitas to anchor the scenes. If you ask me, I think the star here is Jane Doe.

3.5 / 5

 

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Sadako vs Kayako is one damn stupid movie. It is a crossover of the Ju-on and The Ring series of horror films in which it is the 12th film in both franchises. It has only one plot – many stupid people doing stupid things. For example, a girl knocks on a door, calls out a name, but no one answers, so what does she do? She opens the door and goes into a dark and dingy house, calling out a name. She walks deeper into the darkness and peers into a room and sees someone, she walks in, but the person has disappeared. Then she sees legs sticking out, she looks and sees a dead body. She looks harder and can’t stop staring. Some time later she dies, deservedly because all busybodies deserve to live in a horror movie. Dammit! I would have run away if no one is in.

The movie was perhaps good for a short while. I thought it was really clever in being self-aware of its urban legend premise, but that idea floated out the door really fast. Characters parachute in carelessly just to push the plot forward, like the young exorcist and his blind 12-year-old sidekick. Nobody bothers to think up new scares anymore and everything is recycled from previous movies, like I just couldn’t believe it has another hair washing shower scene. The so called climatic showdown between Sadako and Kayako is a big joke. My mouth hang open in absolute dismay and disbelief. The two beings, superb horror creations in its heyday, have become parodies onto themselves 8 movies ago. How interesting can it be when both the supernatural entities move like crabs. This one makes Freddy vs Jason (2003) feel like a masterpiece. I would be lying if I say I hated it. In terms of entertainment I definitely got it because I was laughing my head off at the ludicrousness of it all. Ohhhh…. get ready for another instalment because the two female ghosts have fused themselves together to attack your time and wallets again in the near future. Bring it on!

2 / 5

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